Science

FDA Weighs in on Visitor-Delivered Food: “Perfectly Safe.”

By Lilah Yates

Tuesday, February 30th XX32

Workers are opting for grocery-delivery service more than ever before– With busy schedules and long hours, grocery delivery has become the preferred middle ground between the time-consuming but healthier option of home cooked meals made from store bought food, and the quick but less healthy option of ordering out. With the increased demand for the service came also an increase in demand for workers to fill that service, and that demand has been filled in majority by Visitors. The Visitors’ ability to travel via fourth-dimensional paths through space-time that are inaccessible by humans alone and that are quicker than the traditional three-dimensional routes makes them uniquely qualified for a role that demands speed and efficiency to accommodate the face-paced lives of their consumer base. While many have enjoyed the convenience of the Visitor-led grocery delivery industry, many raised concern about the safety of eating products that have traveled through the colloquially-named Visitor Plane. 

Last January, the Food and Drug Administration (FDA) began research into the effects that traversing the Visitor Plane has on food. This was prompted by the spread of a viral video of a man claiming that food he consumed from popular delivery service and well-known Visitor employer Dear Grocer, gave him the ability to “hear colors.” 

(Video posted by user @80poundheadache on popular video sharing platform TellTime) 

This sparked similar claims in the comments of the video as well in comments sections on various other social media sites where the video was re-shared. After a year of research and study the FDA issued a notice stating that these claims are false, and advised that anyone claiming to have the ability to hear colors schedule an appointment with their general practitioner, as they may have a neurological condition known as synesthesia. The agency further stated that while the Visitor Plane does have some effect on the food that goes through it, and it is unclear what exactly the effect is, the food is “perfectly safe” to consume.

“The food that passes through [The Visitors Plane] undeniably has something happen to it, but an apple that goes through is still an apple once it’s on the other side. It’s like multiplying something by one; while a process has occurred, things are fundamentally unchanged. The food is perfectly safe to eat.” The agency states.

This notice has raised questions related to the safety of having other materials travel through the Visitors Plane, including humans themselves:

(Post by user @strawberryjamsesh on popular social media platform Birder)